Forgiveness

It has been a long time since I have written anything.  I decided I wanted to start writing stuff down again so that I can remember when my children grow older.  Anyways, yesterday I had a bad day.  I was tired and had no motivation to do anything.  It was one of those "I want to go to bed but can't since I have 2 kids" kind of days.  We had a meeting for Noah's speech, which went well, then the day just went downhill.  I lost the car key and spent 30 minutes looking for it, while the kids were mad that we weren't already at the park.  I'm pretty sure I lost it several times during that 30 minute time.  Lyds kept hitting Noah.  She was tired and gripy, too.  Noah spilt juice all over him in the car.  Then, when we were out and about, he pooped all over.  He hasn't had a blowout like that in a long time.  It was all over him and me.  Thankfully, I had a jacket on at the time so I didn't have to walk around with poop on my shirt.  It was just one of those days. . .

We got home after having dinner with Daniel's parents in time for bath and bed.  After bath, Lyds and I got her baby dolls ready for bed.  We were sitting on her bed playing baby dolls just chatting.  She asked for milk and I told her I was really sorry but we were out - one of the stops that we just didn't get in that day.  I felt like a failure for being such a bad mom and losing it with my kids anyways, not to mention, laundry was piled high on the bed waiting to be folded.  The ironing was strewn all about the living room and the breakfast dishes still weren't done.  And now I didn't even have milk or juice.  She looked at me, hugged me and said, "It's okay, Mom.  We just didn't have time to go to the store today.  I'm so glad you are my mom."  So then I said, "Lyds, I'm really sorry for yelling at you today. I shouldn't have lost my temper.  Will you please forgive me?"  She looks me in the eye, and with maturity beyond her years, says, "I already forgave you, Mom.  I love you."  I nearly broke down crying right there.  It clicked.  She doesn't care if the dishes are done or the ironing is finished.  She loves me because I'm her mom.  What really matters is that I show her love and show her how to live like Christ.  It is also important for her to see me fail and to know that it is okay not to be perfect.  Sometimes we try so hard to be the perfect mom, the perfect wife, the perfect homemaker, that we forget that it's really about serving God, loving, and teaching our kids about the love of God.

"Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not men." Colossians 3:23